You know that feeling you get when someone calls to tell you a precious family member of yours has died?
First you are stunned and can't move.
Your mind is a fog.
There is something causing your throat to close up.
You can't swallow.
You feel nauseated.
This pressure grows in your chest and hurts so bad.
It takes your breath away.
You settle yourself into a chair.
Then your body starts to heave with waves of convulsing coughs and the tears flow.
But not JUST tears.
Your head becomes so full of congestion and you can't breathe, yet you continue crying.
If the tightness in your sinuses gets any worse, you feel your head will explode.
The sadness is maddening.
You lie down on your side and curl your legs up to your chest.
Staring.
Just staring.
Then you blink, so you can see again as the tears roll sideways across your nose, onto your pillow.
By now you are breathing through your mouth because your nose is so plugged you can't use it to breathe.
You close your eyes and hope to sleep so the pain in your head and in your heart will subside.
No one has died........Yet this sorrow still holds me.
